I Own My Own Amen

Two women. Two perspectives. One friendship spanning more than twenty-five years. And one question: When you've settled something with God, why do you still need everybody else to agree?

Two Friends, One Conversation, and a Whole Lot of Truth

Jasmine: Jewel, can I ask you something? And don't give me one of those politically correct answers you save for people you don't know that well.

Jewel: Girl, we've been friends since high school. When have I ever given you a politically correct answer?

Jasmine: That's exactly why I'm asking you. Why is it that we can pray about something, feel completely at peace with a decision, and then the minute somebody questions us, we start second-guessing everything?

Jewel: Because sometimes we're more concerned about keeping people happy than we are about following God. And sometimes we don't trust ourselves to recognize His direction.

Jasmine: Whew! And just like that, you've stepped on my toes before I've even finished my coffee.

Jewel: Well, you asked!

There comes a point in your walk with God when you have to stop looking around the room to see who's nodding in agreement, who's clapping, who's cheering you on, and who's giving you that enthusiastic church-approved "AMEN!"

Because sometimes, the room is going to be quiet. Sometimes the people you thought would celebrate your obedience will question your judgment. The ones you expected to encourage you will offer unsolicited opinions disguised as concern. And the folks who were cheering yesterday might be sitting with their arms folded today.

Jasmine: And their silence will have you wondering whether you heard God correctly.

Jewel: But here's the revelation: Their silence doesn't mean God hasn't spoken.

Some of us have spent entirely too much time waiting for somebody else to validate what God has already confirmed. We've confused popularity with purpose, applause with approval, and agreement with anointing. And somewhere along the way, we started treating other people's opinions like they had voting privileges in our relationship with God.

Jasmine: Well, somebody needs to hear this: God never established a committee to approve your obedience.

Jewel: Thank goodness! Because if He did, some of us would still be sitting in the waiting room while the committee argued over what color the chairs should be!

Everybody Doesn't Have to Agree

Jewel: Now, Jasmine, let me challenge you on something. You always say you don't need anybody's approval. But isn't there a danger in that kind of thinking? Couldn't somebody use that as an excuse to ignore good advice?

Jasmine: Absolutely. And that's why we have to distinguish between seeking wisdom and seeking permission.

There's nothing wrong with encouragement. There's nothing wrong with wise counsel. Scripture tells us there is safety in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14). But counsel and control are two different things. Seeking wisdom is biblical. Seeking universal approval is exhausting. And there's a difference between asking someone to help you discern God's direction and asking them to give you permission to follow it.

For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? ... for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

— Galatians 1:10 (KJV)

Jewel: So Paul wasn't saying we should become arrogant, dismissive, or indifferent toward others.

Jasmine: Exactly. He was making something clear: pleasing people cannot become more important than serving Christ.

And that's where some of us get tangled up. We know what Scripture says. We've prayed. We've examined our motives. We've sought wise counsel. We've wrestled with the decision. But instead of moving forward, we're still waiting for somebody to tell us we're right.

Jewel: And sometimes we're not even looking for advice. We're looking for agreement.

Jasmine: Girl! That's a whole different conversation!

Jewel: No, that's THIS conversation. Because sometimes we keep asking people what they think until we finally find somebody who tells us what we want to hear.

Jasmine: Fair point. And sometimes we're more afraid of disappointing people than we are of delaying our obedience. Ouch. That one stepped on both our toes.

Stop Auditioning for Applause

Jasmine: Can we talk about something else? Social media has made this whole approval thing worse.

Jewel: Oh, absolutely. We've got people who can't even enjoy a blessing without checking how many likes it gets.

Jasmine: Some of us are living like we're contestants on a spiritual talent show. We make a decision, then look around to see how the judges scored it. Did Mama approve? Did the pastor agree? Did my friends understand? Did somebody comment on my post? Did I get enough likes? And if the response isn't what we expected, suddenly we're questioning everything.

Jewel: But let me push back. What if the people questioning you actually see something you're missing? What if their concerns are legitimate?

Jasmine: Then you listen! Every disagreement isn't persecution, and everybody who questions you isn't being used by the devil. Sometimes people are offering wisdom we genuinely need.

Jewel: Thank you! Because I know some folks who call every person who disagrees with them a hater.

Jasmine: And some of those so-called haters are the only people brave enough to tell them the truth! But sometimes people are simply uncomfortable with a decision they wouldn't have made themselves. And their discomfort does not automatically make your obedience disobedience.

Jesus warned about people who valued human recognition more than God's approval. John 12:43 says: "For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God." (KJV) In the surrounding passage, some people believed in Jesus but were afraid to acknowledge Him openly because of what others might think or do. They allowed the fear of losing human acceptance to interfere with their response to Christ.

Jewel: That's interesting, because they weren't necessarily struggling with whether they believed. They were struggling with what believing might cost them socially.

Jasmine: Exactly! And before we start shaking our heads at them, let's examine ourselves. How many times have we watered down a conviction to keep somebody comfortable? How often have we remained silent when truth needed a voice? How many times have we said yes when we knew we should have said no, simply because we didn't want somebody upset with us?

Jewel: Here's a little truth with your tea: If everybody has to be happy with your decisions before you can have peace, you're going to spend a whole lot of your life miserable.

Jasmine: Because people change their minds.

Jewel: Sometimes before lunch!

Jasmine: But God doesn't change His character, and His Word doesn't need a popularity rating.

But Make Sure It's God You're Agreeing With!

Jewel: Okay, Jasmine, here's where I want us to slow down. Because I can already hear somebody saying, "That's right! I don't need anybody's approval! God told me what to do!" But how do you know God actually told you?

Jasmine: Now THAT is the question! Before somebody finishes reading this article, grabs their purse, quits their job, ends three relationships, and announces, "Jasmine and Jewel said I don't need anybody's approval," let's put a little biblical balance on this thing! Owning your own Amen does not mean every thought you have came from God.

Every desire isn't divine direction. Every open door isn't a God-given opportunity. And every uncomfortable situation isn't the enemy trying to stop your destiny. Sometimes it's wisdom telling you to slow down. Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us to trust in the Lord rather than lean entirely on our own understanding. And 1 John 4:1 tells believers to test the spirits.

Jewel: So how do we practically do that?

Jasmine: Start with Scripture. God isn't going to lead you into something that contradicts His revealed character and Word. Then examine your motives. Are you being led by faith, or driven by fear, pride, anger, or impatience? Have you sought wise counsel? Are you willing to receive correction if you've misunderstood?

Jewel: And can we add something? Sometimes the answer isn't immediately clear. Sometimes you need to wait, pray some more, gather information, and admit that you don't know yet.

Jasmine: Absolutely. Faith doesn't require us to pretend we have certainty when we don't.

Jewel: Because there's a difference between godly confidence and spiritual stubbornness.

Jasmine: And I promise you, stubbornness can quote Scripture, too! Sometimes what we call standing on faith is really standing on our feelings and hoping God will endorse them. But when you've sincerely sought God, tested your understanding against His Word, remained open to wisdom, and reached a sound conviction before Him, you don't need to keep reopening the case just because somebody doesn't like the verdict.

Habakkuk Had His Own Amen

Jasmine: Jewel, you know what Scripture always gets me? Habakkuk 3:17–18.

Jewel: The one about rejoicing even when everything is falling apart?

Jasmine: That's the one. The prophet Habakkuk describes a devastating situation. The fig tree isn't blossoming. There's no fruit on the vines. The fields aren't producing food. The flocks are gone. The stalls are empty. In other words, everything that should have been producing something had produced absolutely nothing.

Jewel: Sounds like the kind of season where your bank account is low, your plans have fallen apart, and your refrigerator is looking like it needs prayer!

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

— Habakkuk 3:18 (KJV)

He didn't say, "I'll rejoice when the figs come back." He didn't say, "I'll praise Him once the crops start growing." He didn't even say, "Let me see how everybody else feels about this situation." He said, "YET I WILL!"

Jewel: But let me ask you something. What if you're not feeling joyful? What if you're exhausted, disappointed, or even angry about what you're going through? Is it dishonest to praise God anyway?

Jasmine: Not at all. Because praise isn't always an expression of how we feel. Sometimes it's a declaration of what we know. Habakkuk wasn't denying his circumstances. He described them plainly. But he refused to allow those circumstances to determine whether God was worthy of his trust.

Jewel: So it's not pretending everything is wonderful.

Jasmine: No. It's knowing God remains worthy even when everything isn't. Sometimes your own Amen sounds exactly like that. I don't understand everything, yet I will trust Him. I don't see the outcome, yet I will obey Him. Everybody doesn't agree, yet I will stand on His Word. My circumstances haven't changed, yet I will praise Him.

Jewel: That's not denial. That's devotion.

Jasmine: And that's an Amen nobody else has to give you.

Your Amen Is More Than a Church Response

Jewel: You know, growing up, I heard people say Amen so often that I didn't really think about what it meant.

Jasmine: Girl, in my church, somebody could say, "The air conditioning is broken," and somebody in the back would yell, "AMEN!"

Jewel: See, that's exactly what I'm talking about! We've become so accustomed to hearing Amen at the end of prayers and during sermons that sometimes we forget what the word actually communicates.

Amen expresses affirmation, truth, certainty, and agreement. When we say Amen to God's truth, we're not simply announcing that the preacher has reached a good point. We're expressing agreement with what has been declared. And that brings us to 2 Corinthians 1:20: "For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us." (KJV)

Jasmine: That's powerful because God's faithfulness is the foundation. Christ is the fulfillment. And our Amen is the response that glorifies God.

Jewel: So we're not saying our Amen makes God's promises true.

Jasmine: Exactly. They're true because He is faithful. And our agreement doesn't give God permission to be God. But it expresses our confidence in who He is and what He has said.

Jewel: Then when we say, "I Own My Own Amen," we're not claiming ownership of God's truth.

Jasmine: We're taking responsibility for our response to it. My faith cannot depend entirely on somebody else's enthusiasm. My conviction cannot be rented from somebody else's confidence. And my obedience cannot remain on hold while I wait for unanimous approval.

You Can Love People Without Living for Their Approval

Jewel: Jasmine, can I bring this a little closer to home? We've been friends since high school. We've seen each other through heartbreaks, career changes, bad decisions, good decisions, and a few fashion choices we should probably never discuss again.

Jasmine: Please don't bring up those matching outfits!

Jewel: I'm just saying, we've been through a lot. And we haven't always agreed. But here's my question. Can you really own your own Amen and still make room for people who disagree with you?

Jasmine: Absolutely. In fact, I think that's where spiritual maturity gets tested. Can you love someone who doesn't agree with you? Can you respect someone who doesn't understand your decision? Can you listen without surrendering your convictions? Can you stand firm without becoming mean, defensive, or self-righteous? Because owning your Amen should never become an excuse to mistreat people.

If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

— Romans 12:18 (KJV)

Jewel: I love that Scripture because it doesn't demand universal agreement. It calls us to pursue peace as far as it depends on us.

Jasmine: Which means I can respect your opinion without making it my instruction manual. I can appreciate your concern without surrendering my responsibility. I can hear your disagreement without turning you into my enemy. And I can love you deeply without needing you to cosign every decision I make.

Jewel: That's freedom. Because if every disagreement becomes a broken relationship, we're not walking in conviction. We're walking in defensiveness.

Jasmine: And some of us aren't tired from doing what God has called us to do. We're tired from trying to convince everybody else that God called us to do it.

Jewel: And that's an entirely different kind of exhaustion.

Sometimes the Room Will Be Silent

Jasmine: I want to talk to the woman who's been waiting for somebody to cheer. The woman who's been praying about a decision and is afraid to move because everybody doesn't understand. The person who's been faithful in an assignment that nobody seems to notice. The believer whose convictions have made them unpopular in certain circles.

Jewel: Or the woman who has spent years being everything everybody else needed her to be, and is just now learning that honoring God doesn't mean abandoning herself to keep everybody happy.

Jasmine: That's good, Jewel. You may not receive a standing ovation. You may not get a congratulatory phone call. Your obedience may never go viral. And your greatest act of faith might happen in a room where nobody is watching.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.

— Colossians 3:23 (KJV)

There's something wonderfully liberating about understanding who your ultimate audience is. When your heart is set on honoring God, you no longer have to perform for everybody else. You can serve without needing recognition. Give without needing applause. Forgive without needing an audience. Stand for truth without needing a cheering section. And obey without demanding that everybody understand.

Jewel: And that's not because you're better than anybody.

Jasmine: Or because you know everything.

Jewel: It's because you've learned that faithfulness is more important than popularity.

So Go Ahead. Say Amen!

Jewel: You know what I've realized after all these years, Jasmine? When we were younger, we spent so much time worrying about what people thought of us.

Jasmine: Speak for yourself!

Jewel: Oh, please! You remember that guy you dated senior year because everybody thought you two made a cute couple?

Jasmine: We agreed never to discuss him again!

Jewel: My point exactly!

But seriously, there's a beautiful kind of freedom that comes when you stop trying to make everybody comfortable with your convictions. Not the freedom to do whatever you please. But the freedom to do what is right before God without being controlled by the fear of human rejection.

Jasmine: And you can still be humble. You can still be teachable. You can still admit when you're wrong. You can still change direction when God corrects you. And you can absolutely celebrate when others encourage you. But you no longer have to depend on their applause to validate your faithfulness.

Jewel: So if you've prayed, searched the Scriptures, examined your heart, received wise counsel, and reached a conviction that honors God, stop standing at the doorway of obedience waiting for somebody to hand you a permission slip.

Jasmine: God's Word is not waiting for a majority vote.

Jewel: And your faithfulness doesn't require a round of applause.

Jasmine: Let the room be quiet.

Jewel: Let somebody disagree.

Jasmine: Let the applause come — or not.

Jewel: Because at the end of the day, the question isn't whether everybody approved of your decision.

Jasmine: The question is whether you've sought to honor God with it. And when you can stand before Him with a clear conscience, a humble heart, and a willingness to obey, you can say: I don't need your applause. I don't need your approval. I don't need you to understand every step. And I certainly don't need you to say Amen for me.

Jewel: Because I've settled it before God.

Jasmine: And I OWN MY OWN AMEN!

Jewel: AMEN, girl!

Jasmine: See? I appreciate your Amen. I just don't need it to have one of my own!

Jewel: And that, my friend, is something we can BOTH agree on.

TOGETHER: AMEN!

The Final Sip of Tea

When you've settled it with God, you don't need to campaign for everybody else's approval.

— Jasmine

Let your obedience speak, let your faith stand, and let your Amen be your own.

— Jewel

Two friends. Two perspectives. One shared truth: God's approval is worth more than the world's applause.